The End of an Awkward Beginning

I've never actually blogged before. Things like this generally make my armpits perspire so I'm just taking a shot into the dark.

So WELCOME! to my blog. Where I will hopefully be continuously updating my progress, expressing my fears, maybe entertaining a few readers, and posting pictures of life abroad. ABROAD. Ah yes. I am closing in on my departure for the adventure of a lifetime. I'm heading to Italy located in beautiful Tuscany! I will be studying Commedia dell'Arte in the land of its conception. I've got less than a week left and am slowly filling up with anxiety. I feel like I've got a million things to do, but it's really only about 999,999 so I can stop being so dramatic. However, the things that will allow me to travel are safe and with me, so I could potentially put everything off and just go on Saturday. Maybe not the wisest of ideas, but a possibility.

After a fantastic weekend with some of my closest friends, I said my goodbye-for-now(s), shed some tears, and left with a deeper love for them than I think I've ever felt before. I'm going to miss a lot of things this semester. The theatre department, as much as I struggle with it, is an ever moving and changing phenomenon that I hold near and dear to my heart. It will continue to move forward without me and that makes me nervous. New, beautiful, talented faces are making their way on the Meredith stage and I am not going to be a part of that. My friends are growing, making discoveries, and developing themselves. Things are going to happen and I'll be on the outs.

Despite my momentary coronary, a lot is going to happen for me this semester. I'm digging deeper into a realm of theatre that I would never have thought to dive into. Connections are going to be made that couldn't happen in the confines of the United States. I will learn more about myself and force myself to things I don't necessarily want to do or wouldn't have thought to do. People will come into my life I will never forget. My eyes will be opened to a world that exists outside of my backyard. Character developments will be explored, but I think the most important one that will be made is my own. I believe that we create ourselves rather than find ourselves and I'm slowly putting things together and developing a person that even I like. This semester will be a continuation of that and will probably complete the foundation that I will build the rest of myself on. Throughout my life I've done re-arranging, throwing away, and putting together and I think I will fit some more puzzle peices together that will be a great end to an awkward beginning and an even more delightful beginning to an exciting end. Taking chances and making things happen are the only way I'm going to get any where in the life and doing what I want is happiness. I don't plan on doing anything else so I've got to make my own opportunites and this is the beginning of that.

Throughout this semester I will refer to the words of one my most favorite songs: "Life is Beautiful" by Vega4

Stand where you are.
We let all these moments pass us by.
It's amazing where I'm standing,There's a lot that we can give.
This is ours just for a moment.There's a lot that we can give.

So as I go through the next semester, I am going to stand where I am and soak every little thing in. Too often do I let the little things pass me by and and I fail to document them. This isn't going to happen to me and I might not ever see these people again so I have to take it all in. I'm going to give it my all despite my fears and I'm ready to fall head first into the unknown just knowing that I will be okay. My friends and family will be here when I get back and so will the theatre department. Maybe I'll have something to give.

Italy, here I come.

Till next time.